Sunday, July 12, 2009

What IS your JOY?


Joy think about it. What does Joy mean to you. Joy has been the top subject for me since May 30, 2009 Let me explain just a sliver of it.

I had suffered with depression for the last 13 years to be truthful, no matter how sad it maybe. Depression can really suck the life out of someone. The sad thing is that with the depression I suffered was because of myself and how I was conducting my life. Only my faith in God really pulled me thought, because God was the only one that could reach me where I was going.

I have always had a very strong relationship with Jesus, since its begining with I was 5 years old. I turned to Him when I was sad. I turned to Him when I was suffering. I even turned to Him to share my joys. As as I had a rough childhood filed with physical, mental and emotional abuse, Jesus keep me safe throught it all and helped me rise above it. So when I got saved in July 1997, 13 years ago, it was a freedom that I had never had before.

I was afraid of going to Hell, being separated from seeing God when I died. So when I accepted Jesus into my heart as my sole pilot of my life, I was free of the fear. I was free of alot of the things that burdened me. Still I wasn't really free of all burdens. God would have me carry those just a while longer. 13 years to be exact, until I learned and did what God needed me to do.

So for the last 13 years I was pretty much moving toward a place in my life which was equviant to playing in traffic. Please see my blog for June 4, 2008 "Are you waiting to be roadkill? It is on my blog at blogspot. I am not hear to promote. I am here to share the grief of depression and the feeling of helplessness that depression descends on a person.

Until that day, Saturday morning on May 30th of this year, I stuggled at times to find Joy in life. I knew that Jesus gave me Joy for HE WAS inside of me. IN MY HEART, yet at times, most of the time, I stuggled to find the joy that many people easily found.

I struggled with this. I read scripture to focus on the Joy that was in God. I said Nehimiah 8:10 so often, a person would think that the statement would sink in.

The Joy of the Lord IS my strength. I repeated over and over again some days when if felt like my life was crashing down. Emotional I was falling apart. I was lonely, seemingly just exsisting instead of living and uncertain where the world was going to send me next. Like I said, depression and dispair can suck the life out of you. It is Satan's main tactic in getting control. Worry is the theft to Joy. Satan uses it to rob the inner assuarance that the Lord is in control. Satan uses three things to reek havoc in a person's life. Most people don't see it and Christian struggle with it the most because of the belief of knowing that Jesus is with them, then Satan can't touch them. Satan can't touch you, but Satan sure can lead you away. And away the Evil One will lead you, if you give him a chance.

Satan uses doubt, denial and deception to lead your thinking away from Christ. If Satan can get your mind to stray away from Him, then he can guide a confused lamb away from the flock. That is what Satan did to me for 13 years. I was just within range of Jesus, but not close enough to always hear him. It was freedom to wander a bit from the Master's hand, yet I didn't know that the farther I got away from Him, I was impeding my own growth in Him. His word wasn't sinking in as deep as it should have. The Joy that He was giving me wasn't getting through because Satan was making me doubt the things in my life, making me thinking I wasn't that important. It was Satan's main deception in my life. I was never good enough. I wasn't important. I was pretty much useless to God. He had so many other children, which were doing great things and showing their love to Him. What I was trying to do, was worthless to Him and those around me. That was Satan's deception and doubt he created within.

I felt no Joy at times. Not the type of joy that many other born again Christians felt. I wanted that joy and I asked God about it several times, but go no answer. I felt lost at times. I knew He was there. There was no doubt about that.I just couldn't feel His presence when I needed it the most. I believed in God. I knew He was faith faith. It is scripted in His word. In Genesis, after Adam and Eve sinned and they were kicked out of Eden. God proclaimed His promise that salvation would come for them. Even in the fear, the hurt and the dispair, there was joy to be found.

"From now on, you and the woman will be enemies, and your offspring and her offspring will be enemimes. He will crush your head, and you will strike his heel" Genesis 3:15

The Joy that Jesus would come save us. A promise even in our trials and tribulations, we will find Joy.

Look at Noah, Abramham, Issac, Joseph, and countless others. They struggled with issues that stole their joy, but they have faith that the true Joy is in the Lord, only if you fully surrender all to Him.

The JOY of the LORD IS my strength

I had to asked myself how I defined my joy, and realized before May 30, It was very hard to define because I didn't feel it much, if at all. I believed and had faith in God, but I wasn't opening myself up to His Joy. I had to surrender. Like many things a person have to do in order for God to really work in one's life. One must surrender all to the Lord.

It is our willful choice to rejoice in the Lord. Many people choice not to and fill their lives with external things to create their happiness. That type of happiness is fleeting. That is not Joy. I know the difference from between happiness and Joy. Happiness is an emotion that is fleeting, and most of the time is triggered by an outside influence in one's life. Joy is something internal. Deep within one's self which wells up and outward and spills out around them.

Look around you. Which people are the most joyful with their lifes. Are they Christians that surrendered their lives, their problems, their external things to the Lord. I am sure most of them are. If they don't have Jesus within, I am certain that they do not have an everlasting spring of life and joy, and when they are alone, I am sure they are very unhappy about their lives in general.

Joy is internal. Joy comes from the Love of the Lord to us from Him. I know this. It happened to me on May 30. I felt it welling up inside of me and overflowing. I changed in a blink of an eye. It was miraclous to me. It was so overflowing that I had on person seriously ask me if I was on crack. I just laughed and said "NO, I just have so much joy it seems impossible to contain." The joy has been non stop since that day. To have the joy that the Lord has for you is healing for the body, calming to mind and life to the soul. The healing I got was so life changing for me. Back in July 1997, my salvation was true, but the healing I needed wasn't complete. God knew I needed time. My heart was always willing to serve the Lord. He knew this, but I wasn't ready to do what He needed me to do. I had to learn things and grow. Now I feel His Joy, His word makes so much sense and I feel His presence more strongly then I ever did before. I see things that through my 13 rough years, He was there the whole time, holding me, guiding me and walking with me until I got there I needed to be in His plan.

If you don't have joy in your life overflowing within you. If you don't feel Jesus there next to you. He is there, believe me. When you are finally unblinded by the depction and doubt of Satan, you will see Him. And know He was always there. Don't give up. Keep the faith, no matter if you dont' feel it. Jesus IS there.

Remember this:

You have sorrow now but I will see you again; then you will rejoice and no one can rob you of that Joy John 16:22

Jesus was going to his death and he was comforting the disciples that they would see Him again.It is the same with us, but instead of Him seeing us again, He is always there, we just can't "see" him as in meaning feel Him in times of doubt or pain. But He is there. And soon you WILL see Him there and it will fill you with Joy as it did me.

I just never gave up. I believed and was faithful, no matter how much I couldn't see or feel what I thought I was suppose to be feeling or seeing. I didn't feel God's presence. I felt lost and alone at times. But that doesn't mean I was really alone. Because I wasn't. And neither are.

As I depart this thought process. I leave you to things:

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

Paul said those words. He wasn't at Disneyland or even laid back relaxing his evening in comfort. He was in prison and facing horrible factors and events in his life. Yet, he still rejoiced in the Lord. Jesus within him overflowing! You have that and can have that. I found mine and now it is time for yours.

Then he returned to the disciples and found them alseep. He said to Pete, "Couldn't you stay awak and watch with me even one hour? Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you. For thought the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak!" Matthew 26:40-41

Jesus was struggling with dispair and felt deep anguish and he turned to his disciples for support. He had faith in God, and knew he needed to face things, very much like you did, but being human he need "flesh" support to help the weakness that the flesh is subjected to. Always remember, it is ok to turn toward someone for help and support. None of us can just fully rely on God. As Jesus said, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. So we need "flesh" support from others to help us, encourage us and uplift us when we can not do it ourselves.

I am here for you if you need me. Email me or comment me, I am awake to stay up and pray with you, if you need support.

God bless.

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